3 Tips for Hosting One | Hosting
Be it a sweet night in with your partner, a kind friend coming by to share a glass over a catch-up, or a mother-in-law who you want to connect with a bit more… making space to sit with someone you love can feel extra special by simple efforts. I love it when a loved one stops in for something casual, the quick grab of a glass, and a debriefing that happens over loud kids or in the midst of sorting emails or when my person sits with just me and we have a moment that feels special and just for us.
A ball of Burrata with fresh, sliced tomatoes, prosciutto, balsamic vinegar + salt. Served with a fresh baguette.
However, really believe that anytime we know someone is coming by for some eye contact and some spilling of our souls taking five to twenty minutes to make the area you’re going to be in a little more intimate feels special. Join me!
Hosting isn’t about being something you’re not, it’s about making space to feel more connected. - Me
Today, I’m giving 3 easy steps to help you have the tools to create space that feels a little more intentional, doesn’t extort energy from you, and showcases home as a safe haven for connection with the one you’ve invited into your home or the one you dwell alongside, inside of those walls every day.
FIRST
pause for thoughtfulness—
Think about one thing that you both share a deep love of. It can be an earthy fragranced candle, aged scotch, a book that you both love, or cozy blankets. Bring this item into the area that you want to be near.
Dining table? Roll the blanket up and put it on the bench or drape it over the chair your guest will be sitting on, as well as one over your seat.
Couch? Light that candle 30 minutes before your guest arrives in a nearby area.
Kitchen Bar Top? Place that beloved book somewhere nearby, stacked with a pretty journal, and a small vase of flowers on top of the book or beside it. It can be a sweet small gathering of greens if you don’t have fresh flowers on hand. Easy, but thoughtful. I find it’s most pleasing to clump groups in 3 or 5. Simple, but sweet.
SECOND
set the mood—
I tend to carry big energy and I wear it rather openly. If I’m stressed, people feel it. If I’m in a hurry others receive it as chaos. If I’m calm, others can feel safer sharing what’s happening in their lives. It also creates space for them to unwind a little better.
The morning hours:
I brew coffee, even if I’m not sure if anyone will drink it just in order to activate that childhood Folgers commercial fragrance throughout the house. I like to have things tidy but not really perfect since it’s the beginning of the day and a slow start feels kind. Slippers on. No makeup. Come as we are. We’re starting the day together. Curtains open, beds made, doors open allowing all of the light to flood into any space exposed.
Afternoon
Bathroom candles are glowing. Music is on throughout the speakers in the home. In the living room, it’s tidy with ample blankets present- just in case.. maybe the fireplace is rumbling with a flicker. A stack of books refreshed on the coffee table. I like to imagine that if they’re sitting in the ugly recliner or cozy on a more aesthetically pleasing couch there is something eye-catching that feels interesting and calming. I want people to come in and feel like, this feels nice. Inspired just to pause.. even if during the in-between breaths of laughter or deeper conversations.
Evening:
I love the lights low, no matter the occasion. I think it offers a little calm and it can remind me to turn down my big energy, slow my movements, and be more present. I feel like when the lights are bright I see the things that need to be done and my mind can quickly wander.
Third
noshing—
I don’t have a lot of pantry backstock but I try to always have some kind of a snack that I can grab on the fly in order to offer something for the one I’m with to nosh on. I usually end up eating more than they do. Depending on the guest it may include flatware, or it may be finger food only. I like to have a roll of cinnamon rolls in the refrigerator for a quick morning so I can pop them in. I usually insist that something is consumed if they’re around for longer than a half hour. For the in-betweens and lunch, I throw together a little bit of everything for a casual, very non-Pinterest charcuterie board and/or wine or a cocktail. For dinner, more goes into it but I’ve certainly thrown together pasta or soup on the fly.
I believe that family in the home or friends that are coming in feel the joy shared when we break bread together; when we put devices down, and when we make eye contact. When we don’t ask heavy questions and just create space to be or when we dig in and tears well in our eyes before, after, or during a shared glance with one another. These moments fortify friendship. No matter the look of a home, where there is sincere care for a person coming through the threshold we are deepening relationships.
It’s not about the show of it, it’s about the way it allows space for someone to feel loved, thought of, and cared for.
I do not always do this well. If I’m in my head or have a lot going I can feel disconnected, however, sometimes going through the motions helps me to reset. My hope is that people leave feeling something more than when they came in. More loved, more seen, more full in their bellies, more inspired to be where they are.
